A few weeks ago, I bought flowers for myself for no reason. I like having flowers around. I like looking at them, I like trimming the stems and arranging the blooms, pulling out my vases excites me, having a spot of beauty where I can rest my eyes during the day brings energy and strength.
So I’ve started buying myself flowers. Weekly. It’s now part of the grocery shopping experience.
Flowers felt like an extravagance in the past, but more than that, it came with expectations. That someone else was going to by me flowers. My husband, friends, people who are coming over for dinner.
I see myself as a person who knows what she wants and goes to get it, but somehow when it came to these small things that bring beauty, joy and ease to my life, I treated myself as a consumer and not a creator.
I could consume beauty by joyfully receiving flowers, watching a movie or reading a book, but I couldn’t take ownership for my love for beauty by creating what I longed for. There is a bigger story here about writing, but for now I am sticking with the small lesson. I was created by God, who is the source of creativity that cannot and will not end, and I was given creative strength because my creativity points back to the goodness and beauty of his creative strength. I do not have time these days to hole away for days writing, I cannot paint a masterpiece for an art gallery, there is no time to perfect any creative skill or talent.
But I can do small things every day that remind myself that I am a creator, I have ownership for my life, someone else is not responsible for my desires. For now it means I stop to paint with my boys, I print pretty printables with truth about identity and daily work, I sweep my floor, I make my bed daily, I chop parsley and scatter it on top of soup. These are simple actions that transfer my creative mind into my daily work, it keeps beauty filling my life, and it helps me to keep going.
And for the days when there is no time for anything else, it helps that my vases are full of flowers.
[ba-dropcap size=”4″]F[/ba-dropcap]or you there’s a story as well. What do you want to create? What is an idea that has swum around in your mind for a while? Maybe it’s more than an idea? Maybe it needs a life of its own? What small thing can you do this week that would say to yourself and the people around you that your creative self matters?
I’m linking up with The Grove at Velvet Ashes.
11 thoughts on “buy your own flowers”
I think it’s wonderful that you are buying yourself flowers…you know, it’s funny, but I would never have thought of it, either. It’s like flowers are something that someone else is supposed to bring you…but really, I don’t know why it should be.
I love your approach – to do small things to create, during a time when you can’t do “big” things. But I think sometimes the small things ARE the big things, so maybe by doing the small things you are actually doing something bigger….
Would love to hear your bigger story about writing one day…:-)
Thanks for stopping by Michele. There isn’t a bigger story about writing in some ways, only that it’s my desire to do it in the longer term but it is frustrating to not be able to do it as much as I would like now. But I do think you’re right, the “small” things are what I can do now and who knows what it will all lead to in the future.
I loved this! This is me!!! Except that as much as I love fresh flowers, I still have a hard time buying them for myself, or even asking for them to be bought for me. He should just know right? Maybe I will change my expectations & indulge myself a little. Then, when they are a surprise from the one I love, they will be appreciated instead of expected.
You know, Olivia, I was just thinking when I read your post that if we don’t buy ourselves flowers, then THEY may not realize that we LIKE flowers. If we do buy them for ourselves, then it’s sort of a clue – and then they can even figure out what kind we like by watching what kind we buy. So maybe we’d really be doing them a favor if we did start buying ourselves flowers, not to “get them out of it” but so that they see what we like – otherwise they may be thinking – well, she never buys flowers, so she must not like them – in their search for something to surprise us with. Then we might get surprised by them more often. 🙂 (Does that sound convoluted?)
When I read your comment, I mean, I know this is Devi’s post.
This makes perfect sense to me & even more motivation to buy myself some flowers. Thank you Michele x
Michele, I was thinking the same thing! Sometimes we let others know how to treat us, by how we treat ourselves 🙂
Yes, I think you are so right. When I expect things from hubby, I don’t appreciate it as much.. and I do think that loving myself helps me to receive love from others more joyfully and freely. Love you friend!
I’m a big fan of buying myself flowers :). It is a small way to show, even if something is going to fade, while it is here, I will enjoy it 🙂
That’s great, Amy. I think treating ourselves is an important part of self care.