day 20: full stop

Driving has freaked me out for as long as I can remember. There is no better way to say it because the fear is irrational and unfounded. The idea of being on the road, with other vehicles in motion around me and people walking around and those wretched cyclists. The responsibility feels too heavy, too much.

But this isn’t about my driving; it is about the process of how we stop comparing ourselves to other people, which reminds me of a driving technique I had to learn to pass the Victorian driving test in 2007. My aunty took me on practice drives around our area in Chirnside Park, and I remember her telling me when we arrived at a stop sign, Devi, you need to come to a full stop, and you have to wait until your body moves backward from the stop. If you don’t wait for that, you will fail the test on the spot. 

It stayed with me, and I passed that part of my driving test (and the whole thing, but that’s a different story).

Our first step in dealing with comparison is the recognition that comparison is wrong, something we do not want in our lives. And our second step is to make the decision to come to a complete stop, to end our mental and emotional relationship with comparison, and to stop engaging in comparison’s thoughts. Not a partial stop, to just quickly check one side of the road, but a complete, full stop, a stop that gives us freedom, protection and time.

I want to emphasize the phrase “make the decision” because before we can apply any skills to how we stop thinking in terms of comparison, we have to decide that we are no longer going to participate in this lifestyle. We have to make the choice to leave comparison island, to end our relationship with comparison and to say no to it as a lifestyle choice; it’s a decision we have to first make with our mind before we can start to think about what actions to take.*

Here’s the question I’m asking myself and you today: Am I willing to commit to living a life without comparison in it? 

* I owe this idea to this course that I took two years ago, excellent material and life-changing ideas.

I’m writing daily in October as part of The Nester’s 31 Days challenge, check out my posts here, and head over to the Nesting Place for other great 31 Days topics.


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