It is almost impossible for me to download new photos because I am warned each time that our disk is almost full. Husband took hundreds and hundreds of photos of Small One. There are 207 photos of his first day of life, 149 of his second. I won’t count the rest because it would cause a small organization panic in my mind, never mind the overload it is causing our Macbook’s brain as evidenced by excruciatingly slow everything.
Just like I fill my Macbook with information, I fill myself with thoughts. The computer is close to having had enough, and in the same way, if our minds are overloaded with the kinds of lies that come with comparison, it too needs a break. Our minds need renewal. Thinking differently. Choosing our thoughts, choosing our information, staying away from the lies, filling up with truth.
One of the ways I try to avoid discipline scenarios with Small One is to teach him skills before a certain situation becomes an issue. So when he took tupperware containers out of the kitchen cupboards, I didn’t say no, I let him do it, but he learned that he must put back everything he took out. He is so good at it now that most things he takes out, he tries his hardest to return to its proper place.
Last week he moved rocks from his Oma’s garden into the path. One rock at a time. Occasionally, Small One brought a rock to me as a gift with a smile on his face then scurried to the plot of rocks to take another one out. When it was time to go inside, I asked him to take each rock and put it back its place. It’s an easy task for adults. We would collect as many rocks as we could in our hands, and dump it in the pile. Small One takes one rock at a time, walks back to the plot and puts it in and repeats. The effort seems huge. He has to use lots of muscles, energy and focus.
Emptying our mind of comparison thoughts looks like this. The effort is not easy; it requires attention, patience and commitment.
If only I could earn a bigger salary like _____.
When the thought comes, bid it farewell.
My husband doesn’t take me on date’s like _____’s does.
Stop thinking about it.
I wish my hair was like _______.
Make the thought go away.
One rock at a time. Move one rock at a time. One thought at a time. Get rid of one thought at a time. Rock by rock. Thought by thought.