In November 2017 I started washing my face. Ok I had always possessed a bottle of Neutrogena cleanser and moisturizer, but I found out that there’s a difference between a retinoid and retinol, and I paid attention to words like hyaluronic acid and vitamin C, not the kind you chew.
I started small with a bottle of toner and a pack of round cotton pads, then I added serums and acids. After a few months, I realized I stuck to a routine in the morning and evening. There were many things I did not do – wake up early, go to bed early, clean the kitchen before sleep, reading before bed, and on and on – but every morning before I left the house I washed my face, and before I went to sleep I did it all over again plus a retinoid.
There was this small voice inside of me saying, You did it, you stuck to a routine. (The voice did not sound like Rachel Hollis’ just in case you think this post is about her or her book – it is not.) That was almost a year-and-a-half ago, but it was the first domino. The first habit that started the rest of them.
I’m no habit guru, and this blog isn’t a productivity blog. But I think you are a person in a middle space of life, navigating transitions and tensions, looking for stories of hope. And that’s where this story about finding helpful routines fits in my own life and hopefully yours.
Would you think I’m crazy if I told you that my life has more clarity and discipline in it because I started washing my face?
Well, it does.
And I think it could for you, too. Your small change may not be washing your face – it could be a slight adjustment in what you drink or eat, it could be a shopping habit, practicing piano, an evening walk, new ability to focus because of the Deep Work Challenge, meal planning, not checking work emails at home. Perhaps it could be something equally small, an “insignificant” part of your daily life like washing your face, but small changes have profound impacts.
The easiest routines I’ve built into my life in the past year-and-a-half somehow all tagged on to the face washing.
A year after I started washing my face with new dedication, I went back to one of my neglected journals. I call it a prayer journal, a place where I put the week’s worries and doubts. I started writing a gratitude list next to my weekly list of anxieties, and I did it every night before I went to sleep (it’s a similar practice to the Daily Examen). I washed my face, and whatever time I went to sleep at night, I pulled the journal out and made a list of what I was grateful for in the day. Soon I started going to bed earlier. Not because I thought I should but because I wanted to. In February I started turning my phone off at 8pm, changing into pyjamas, washing my face, reading a book in bed, and writing my gratitude list. Now I’m offline an hour before I go to bed, a practice I’ve desired for years.
I feel peaceful when I go to sleep, I feel well when I wake up in the morning. You may read this and think it sounds ridiculous, but we all get to set the boundaries around what our lives look like. What would it look like for you to spend your time with intention in the evenings and mornings?
Don’t waste your time wondering why your life isn’t the way you want it to be. You get to decide what works for you – you get to set the boundaries around the final hours of your day so that you end up with an evening that will work for you and the people in your life. Yes, you may have to negotiate with a spouse, kids or friends, but please do it.
(My Deep Work tools, I set them out every night on the kitchen counter and use them first thing when I get up to write in the morning.)
I’m on day four of the 21-Day Deep Work Challenge now, and there’s one thing I needed to make this work: Basic routines. Have you been joining the challenge? How has it been for you?
Whenever we want to make a change in our life – however big or small – there are supporting actions around it that need to adjust or change as well. When I started washing my face, it was not just about buying a product to use. It was also about making the time at both ends of my day to wash my face. I had to get up a smidgen earlier to make school drop offs work and use vitamin c on my face. It was a tiny adjustment because I only added one piece at a time, but those tiny adjustments one at a time took me in a new direction.
Here are a few questions to think about as you go about making Deep Work a lifestyle for you:
Where does Deep Work fit in your daily life?
What needs to get moved around to make Deep Work happen?
Who do you need to talk to about helping you make this happen?
Where do you need to take on more responsibility to free your time for Deep Work?
Where do you need to let go of responsibilities to free your time for Deep Work?
What is your face washing habit (the small thing you can do daily that may become an anchor point for future habits)?
Now it’s your turn: How’s your Deep Work practice going? Are you encountering resistance? What helpful routines could you add to your life to help you stick to your deep work plans or just life plans in general?